Author: Liz

Caleb is turning three this fall, and I’ve been dreading this day for years – his first day of preschool.

Actually it was a decision Jon and I waffled on for a long time – being in the shop means I could easily keep him home with me for another year, and I would’ve loved to, but with kindergarten coming up, I wanted him to be prepared.

If you’ve had the chance to bump into him in the shop, you know he’s a quiet kid. He’s so shy that sometimes people ask if he talks, which he does, but just only in very specific situations. I think now as a parent of a shy child, I immediately love anyone who can make Caleb smile the first time they meet – few and far between, but a sign of a truly understanding soul.

I feel like the Asian parent in me should be “forcing” him to be a bit more responsive when adults are interacting with him, out of politeness, but I can also distinctly remember the feeling of being very shy as a young child, and now as a parent, I want to give Caleb a bit more space. Jon and I chose this shop with new faces streaming in and out everyday, not him.

Sometimes people say he’ll grow out of it, and I have no idea if that’s the case, or if I even want it to be the case. I never want him to miss out on something because he’s shy, but I hope he just comes into his own whenever he’s ready. Sometimes the weird people are the most interesting ones.

Another mom once told me about having “moments” as a parent, those really painful and deep moments when you have some sort of realization or worry that you know is going to be with you forever. She, of course, is a super mama, so most of her moments involve other kids being bullies or things outside of her control.

I remember one of the first times I left him at the church nursery with me waiting in just the next room, probably around 1 year old, and at a certain point I heard him crying. I realized that he had been standing facing the door, staring silently, working up to the tears for several minutes without anyone noticing, not knowing how to ask for help, and I had this unbearable and sinking feeling that I had abandoned him. It’s a fine line between giving him opportunity to grow up and toughen up, and giving him all the security he needs. (Is it a fine line? Really?? I have no idea.)

When we first got the cottage, we started attending a new church, and I was a bit worried about how Caleb was going to handle it there. A few months in, and one Sunday I picked him up and he had tears in his eyes, just waiting for me to pick him up Those feelings of abandonment (i.e. me abandoning him) rushed back, and the teacher, who normally he really likes, said he wasn’t sure what happened that day.

When we got home, a few minutes in, Caleb threw up all over the floor. As the parent of a child who has thrown up literally once in his life (this time), it was a bit shocking, but it was also a bit of a relief to know that Caleb’s alright on his own; he just needed to get something out of his system.

So today is his first day at his Montessori. I have no idea what I’m going to do with all my time now. All this freedom! As Jon says, it’s going to be a big transition for both of us.

He’s going to be fine, I know. I left him holding the hand of his teacher, and I’m enjoying a slice of stale carrot cake for breakfast, counting down the hours until 3:30.

“What we lose in our great human exodus from the land is a rooted sense, as deep and intangible as religious faith, of why we need to hold on to the wild and beautiful places that once surrounded us.” – Barbara Kingsolver, Knowing Our Place

I’m writing this from the middle of an evening thunderstorm, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve always loved the rain and thunderstorms, but from up here at the cottage, surrounded by trees and the lake, it’s like another world.

Bug season has come and mostly gone here in Muskoka. That’s to say, the late spring’s blackflies came in a fury, like locusts descending upon the house and the dog and all of us, and for a hot minute, I thought I might seriously be consumed by these tiny mites.

I am one to make things a bit dramatic, and I’m also someone, despite very small physical size, who attracts a lot of mosquitoes, but most of the locals here have also agreed that this year’s abundant rain and cool spring season has meant a very strong blackfly population.

Our property is way out in the bush, with some low marshy areas close to the water, so I’m pretty sure we had our fair share of them hovering around my driveway, biting us on the way from the car to the front door. Certainly by now, though, mid-July, they are mostly gone and replaced by the slightly gentler and less populous mosquito. Who would’ve thought I’d describe a mosquito as gentle.

Super, the dog, was right in the thick of things, although it seemed at the time like he hardly noticed. He would come back in from his saunters and strolls out into the high grass, chomping casually on weeds while sniffing for a place to do his business, and his soft underbelly would be covered in bites. They didn’t seem to bother him too much, maybe because he’s a larger dog, maybe because he’s a dummy.

We dodged two weeks of the worst of it by cowering in Toronto – although I’ll also claim fortuitous timing in a few appointments and meetings in the city.

Despite all the bugs, though, I couldn’t bear to stay inside during these glorious late spring days.

Everything about everything sprouting into green and tiny bursts of colour is divine, part of this yearly breathing, the miracle of a season. It’s fresh and thrilling to see everything exploding with life after being covered in snow for five months.

Caleb is really a kid that needs the outdoors. I’m sure all parents say that, and to an extent every kid does need to be outdoors, but I feel like when I was a kid I was okay with a book in a tree or on a couch. Perhaps it’s because I didn’t appreciate the natural freedom that comes from growing up in a small town pre-Internet, where I could bike to a friend’s house on my own, but Caleb growing up surrounded by concrete – I want him to grow up breathing in the trees.

Much to my relief, Caleb has turned out to also be a kid that likes books, but he’s also very reserved with people, it takes him a long time to warm up. While I’m okay with that as part of his personality, I’m glad that he’ll have a place to be who he is, where his personality doesn’t necessarily have to be “explained.”

I love that he’s pulling wildflower petals off and tromping through the mud, heading off into the trees and discovering his own tiny miracles and secrets, the ones that he can fully hold despite not having the words to describe them.

 

 

Actually, this foggy day in particular is from a few weeks back -and I’m glad to post it in celebration of the arrival of spring, despite snow coming in here and there over the last couple of weeks.

While there’s still snow up on the ground up here in Muskoka, quite a bit of it has melted to show off the grass and mud, and I’m glad to say that the driveway leading up to our house is now much clearer of snow, if muddier. The ice over the lake by our house has broken, and while I’m dreading the mosquitoes, I’m reading to welcome warmer days.

The last few weeks of back and forth to the shop have been busy – an unseasonable number of meetings with vendors and distributors, a few small but exciting projects getting off the ground, new things coming in and I guess spring has gotten us all a bit squirrelly.

Here at the cottage, though, it’s a bit of a pause from it all. A friend share with me an article the other day about the importance of boredom and nature together for children, to let them off into the woods to explore and breathe in all of the clean air – a good reminder to take a moment every once in a while.

I’m not sure that Caleb is ever quite bored outside, something I’m glad for now, although I don’t know if it’s something he’ll grow out of it. I suppose part of it is that he usually has Super romping about with him, and he’s both thrilled and frustrated at Super having his own mind, and another part is probably that he’s so young so everything is a wonder, everything is exciting now.

I think it’s pretty great that Caleb is always eager to go out, always ready to put on his coat and boots, ask for help with the buttons or finding that missing shoe. There really is something thrilling about just throwing open the doors and following the dog leaping into the air.

Our next project is building outdoor stalls for composting. I had originally done some wondering about bears, and whether or not I would need to move the compost if bears came sniffing, but talking with some locals I’ve come to the conclusion that it is what it is, so a fixed compost structure is set to go up over the next couple of weeks.

I just got some seed catalogues in the mail! Cosy inside while surrounded by snow up to my knees outside, I’ve been reading glorious descriptions Chantenay Red Carrots and Tall Telephone Peas and Aunt Ruby’s German Green Heirloom Tomatoes. With all this land now, I’m dreaming of fresh vegetables and canned jams and chickens running around everywhere.

They’re destined to remain dreams for now. While I’ve never really been one to test the waters before jumping in with both feet, because I spend so much time in Toronto, my plans for the land this year are mostly just figuring out how everything works, and getting things set up.

This upcoming spring and summer and into the fall, I’ve got an ambitious list of projects for the land, some that I’m hoping will be an easy one day job, and some that I know will take much, much longer.

1. There’s an electric pump that was set up by the owner before the owners before us, housed in a shed just before the dock, and I’d like to get it up and running again – it pumps water directly from the lake, and can be used to water gardens with a long hose, so I won’t have to dip into our well water, or create a system of collecting rainwater (although I might do something about the rainwater off our roof in any case). The previous showed us where the pump is, but weren’t quite sure if it was still running since they hadn’t used it themselves.

   

2. I’d like to set up a compost for household and garden waste, but one that won’t attract bears or other animals. The house is surrounded by a pretty densely wooded area, excepting the lake, and there is abundant wildlife. I was hoping to do this in the fall when we first moved in, especially so the compost would have time to get going over the winter, but time got away from me.
3. I am indeed still dreaming of chickens – but it’s not to be at least for a little while. However, I’d like to earmark where the coop and run is going to be, especially because I’m hoping to eventually have the chickens operate a bit more free-range, assisting in eating weeds throughout the garden, fertilizing and aerating as they wander around. This is going to require much more planning and research, but before I start planting anything, I’d like to know where the chickens are going to be.
4. In addition to the land immediately surrounding the house, which is nicely manicured lawn, there’s a substantial amount of land that’s had the trees cut, but is still mostly covered with dead and rotting logs, brush, and plants.

   It’s going to be a beast to clear all of that, but I think that’s where most of the planting will be going, so it’s got to be done. I would hate to have to hire someone, but just looking at pictures of rototillers you can get from Home Depot have me envisioning years of going at it. Likely I’ll just clear what I can year by year, as the garden of vegetables (in addition to clearing for the fruit trees) this year is probably going to cap out at around 1o x 10.

   

5. This year, I’m going to be planting some perennials, fruit trees, blueberry bushes, asparagus plants: things that will not bear fruit for at least the next few years so will benefit from a head start, but will also (hopefully) bear some bumbling from me as I figure out how they’ll grow best as I’m back and forth from the city.
6. Build a wood shed. I’m not sure if we’re going to have to hire a carpenter, as it’s quite a large undertaking that needs to be done relatively early in the year, so the wood we collect has time to season and dry before the winter comes. The house has a wood stove and a furnace fan system that can be used to circulate hot air from the stove throughout the house, so it can be heated entirely just through wood. It’s great because it means we have extremely low hydro costs, but it also means we’ll need a lot to get us through these Canadian winters.

   

7. We’re going to be collecting, splitting and stacking wood from the land. We have around 100 acres of mostly wooded land, and the previous owners had a more than sufficient supply of wood from just the land itself, so we’re hoping to do the same.

   We got a little Japanese Daihatsu Hijet for riding down the main trails to collect freshly fallen trees, and also to help maintain the trails, but it’s going to take a fair amount of manual labour to chop and split the wood.

So that’s it for the now (I think). All of this is still churning around and likely to change as we actually dive into it.

It’s delightful to think ahead to all of this, and all of the other wonderful things we have in store for us in this year ahead, especially as the snow surrounds us and I don’t actually have do any of the work (yet).

 

Caleb had his first trip to the dentist, and he did just fine.

It was funny because the hygienist, who is wonderful with kids and also just a really nice human being, offered to turn on the TV for Caleb to help distract him. I sort of assumed because he almost never gets to watch TV that he would love it, but he was too busy being alarmed at the fact that his chair was buzzing and moving, and this giant light was flashing in his face, with metal tools coming into his mouth.

I literally had to pry him open for the first run, but after that Caleb did great with the inspection and the polishing.

I wish I had a picture of him in the chair, but for now, this celebration of clean teeth will have to suffice.

Even better news is that I am also cavity free.

People always comment on how amazing my teeth look, and maybe I had braces when I was younger (nope) or maybe I use whitening strips (nope), but in actual fact my teeth are in terrible condition despite constant and vigilant oral hygiene and possibly a few extra rain dances before seeing the dentist.

In fact, I’ve been seeing this dentist since I was in high school, in Hamilton, and despite a decade of living in Toronto, we still trek out to see him every nine months (or more) because my teeth are very important to me.

Every once in a while Jon asks if we can switch to a Toronto dentist, to which I respond with a look.

I say it’s because I want a dentist I can trust (he is very trustworthy) with all of my issues, including cavities and root canals and crowns, but Jon wonders if the common denominator in all the issues is the dentist (it’s not, he’s really very, very trustworthy).